Why did I go private?

So, why did I go private?

We very unfortunately had some mean, negative, hurtful words said to us and about us from our birth mother. She had publicly on facebook, said some hurtful things in various status updates about us and our children over a erioud of time. It didn't start here though. Many times over the years she would get upset at me because Kayla and Caden had received gifts or cards from Kayla's birth father. For this reason, I can only come up with feelings of jealousy for her that had just snowballed. She had no reason for this. She was just as involved in our lives as the birth father. She had access to everything on facebook, on my blog, she had my phone number and we many times exchanged calls or texts. She had our mailing address. She never once sent anything for a birthday. This was not my fault and I cannot understand the anger towards me for her jealousy.

Before this escalated, there was extremely hurtful, mean things said to us and about us from her family members. So we blocked them all on facebook, and told Kaitlyn that she would be removed from facebook as well, but she could still send messages on facebook chat, and we could still text at anytime. She was upset over this. She was angry. We explained why this was happening and she just couldn't see our point of view. I couldn't take the drama anymore. I am NOT one who tolerates drama well. I try to so hard to please everyone. She got upset and then blocked us on facebook and proceeded to tell people she was getting a lawyer. That we have no right to not let her in our lives. It was supposed to be an 'open adoption' and the list goes on. Before blocking us she said bad things to me. Things that hurt me. I just cant understand. Facebook is NOT the only means of communication. She still has my number to call or text, she still has our address. I have gotten nothing from her. Caden got nothing from her on his birthday. No card. No text. This isn't abnormal but it still bothers me, a lot.

How am I the bad guy? For 7 years I have done everything in my power to please her, to make her happy, to feel involved. I sent a card for every holiday and birthday. I texted pictures. I sent pictures in the mail. I've made scrapbooks. I've sent her baby gifts for holidays. She has since moved and never gave me her current mailing address. She has not responded to any text messages on 3 different numbers I have for her.  I've given her all access to our lives...but I am the bad guy? I am the bad guy but she sends nothing, doesn't call and is out getting high on weed before visiting friends in jail? This I have proof of. I am no dummy.

We are moving in 6 weeks. Our mailing address will change. Our numbers will change.
I'm just so upset and hurt over how she can possibly think I am the bad guy. She is hurting me but who cares?  Who really matters are the kids. She has ways of communication with us but chooses not to use it and then blames me for her not being in their lives? How does this make sense? And how does this makes sense enough to her to say she wishes that she wouldn't have given her kids to us?

My only concern now, is the kids. I hope when they are grown, they understand I did what I could to keep her in their lives. I hope they understand that I do love their birth mother so much for entrusting their lives to me. I hope they understand I tried. I tried my HARDEST. I hope they understand to not believe anything false she might tell them as adults. I hope they understand that we are on their side and the choices we have made were for their well being. I hope they aren't mad at us. I hope they aren't disappointed in us for making the choices we have made.

I have permanently blocked Kaitlyn on our face book page. She cannot even see that we exist on facebook and cannot send us any private messages on there through the chat. She blocked us first. And then unblocked us. I don't play that game. I blocked her. We move in 6 weeks and she will no longer have our address or phone numbers. If I am not contacted through our mailing address or text message by the time we leave here....then all is lost. We will have no ways of getting in touch with each other.